I am the smoke that fills the room undetected.
Smoke that is seen bit by bit by everyone but never all at once.
Just like smoke I am forgotten in a second.
I am the smoke that people hide in the dark afraid to show others.
Smoke that gives people a rush and a moment of excitement,
But I am also the smoke that clears your mind .
I am the smoke which in every deep breathe brings you peace.
Smoke that cleanses and refreshes you .
The smoke that captures your demons and traps them,
Winding them in my ribbons never letting go.
I am the healing smoke that loses herself .
Smoke lost between her two faces unsure of which to pick.
I am smoke seen and used but never acknowledged.
I am the smoke that will never be whole.
I AM SMOKE.
The name nazar is a Punjabi word for the evil eye. Growing up in a Indian household many can relate to when something wasn’t going so well and we would say nazar lagi which means someone has cast the evil eye on you.I wanted to incorporate something that has to do with my culture on my blog. I have set a dark theme to my blog as-well and I wanted to name it something that reflects the theme.The dark theme I have chosen for my blog reflects my writing style, and I enjoy writing darker pieces that reflect issues I feel are important. I want to begin the discussion of harsher sides of society and about the pressures we go through. Overall make my blog and expression of what I feel young adults deal with in the day and age I want to reflect a voice that is often ignored or stepped over.
2 replies on “about me”
Dear Khushi,
I thought your piece was amazing! It was short and sweet which got the point of your poem straight across. I love how you used the repetition of the word smoke throughout each line of the poem. Putting the last line in bold really emphasizes and reinforces the meaning of the poem with the exclamation mark at the end. With the use of metaphors, I can clearly visualize who you are as a person which makes the piece so much more interesting. I loved the line,”I am the smoke that people hide in the dark afraid to show others, ”it creates the sense of imagery that I can see in my mind and I feel that it is something that I can relate to as well. I noticed in your visual the contrast between the white smoke that represents your piece and the one of your background which I found intriguing.
Again, your piece was very beautiful. Something that I would change to make it so much better is eliminating some of the periods from each line to make the poem flow better. For some lines such as,”Smoke that gives people a rush and a moment of excitement.” and, “But I am also the smoke that clears your mind,” a comma can be used after the word excitement to show that you are continuing the thought.
Overall, I really enjoyed your piece and learning more about you! In the future, I hope to read more of what you have to write.
Sincerely,
Mariam.
Dear Mariam,
I really appreciate your feedback and am really happy you received the feeling and vision I was hoping to get across. I do think you made and excellent point and would help the poem follow better. I am really glad you enjoy the poem!
Sincerely,
Khushi.